Released: February 05, 2007

Housework: His? Hers? Ours?

MANHATTAN, Kan. – Failure to take out the trash or pick up a wet towel from the bathroom floor needn’t become a family issue, said Charlotte Shoup Olson, Kansas State University Research and Extension family systems specialist.

While tripping over the trash can be aggravating, it’s the expectations for cleanliness – How clean is clean? – that may be the greater problem, said Olsen, who advises couples considering marriage or others who are thinking about living together, such as college students choosing a roommate, to add housework to their list for discussion before making a commitment.

Suppose, for example, you are dating someone whose apartment is picture-perfect, with everything in its place. Knowing that your own style is more relaxed, with a stack of newspapers and magazines ready and waiting and the shoes worn yesterday still next to the chair you were sitting in last night, should you step back from the relationship?

Housework – or lack thereof – needn’t derail a relationship or spoil a friendship, said Olsen, who offered the following suggestions:

* Talk about your expectations. How important is it to make sure that the dishes are done (either washed or put in the dishwasher) and counters clean before bedtime? Do you expect clean towels every day, or once or twice a week?

* Make a list of household and other essential tasks, such as paying the bills, grocery shopping, and servicing the car.

* Match skills and interests to tasks at hand. If a spouse or partner likes to do laundry, let him do it while you vacuum or grocery shop. If a roommate likes to cook, but doesn’t like to clean up the kitchen, relieve the cook of that responsibility to balance the workload.

* Set a good example by following through on your share of the work.

* Let go of the idea that everything has to be done your way, and try not to be critical of others who are doing the work.

* Be willing to compromise and talk about trouble spots before they become issues.

“In the long run of life, housework hardly seems worth arguing about,” Olsen said.

“Working together to keep the household running smoothly can free-up time for more enjoyable activities.”

More information on managing marriage and family life is available at county and district K-State Research and Extension offices and on Extension’s Web site: www.oznet.ksu.edu.

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K-State Research and Extension is a short name for the Kansas State University Agricultural Experiment Station and Cooperative Extension Service, a program designed to generate and distribute useful knowledge for the well-being of Kansans. Supported by county, state, federal and private funds, the program has county Extension offices, experiment fields, area Extension offices and regional research centers statewide. Its headquarters is on the K-State campus, Manhattan.

Story by:
Nancy Peterson
nancyp@oznet.ksu.edu
K-State Research& Extension News