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CoupleTALK Syllabus

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Course Title

CoupleTALK: Enhancing Your Relationship

Course Description

CoupleTALK is a non-credit Internet-based self-study distance education course offered by K-State Research and Extension, Kansas State University.   It is designed as an adult education course to help couples build skills to make their relationship stronger and more satisfying.  This course is provided free of charge.

CoupleTALK also stresses a process of growth and behavior change.  It is important to stress that marriage or an intimate relationship is a process. It changes over time. New skills are needed at different phases, and old ones need to be continually sharpened.

Disclaimer

Note that this course is not the same as counseling.  CoupleTALK provides a process for making a good relationship better.  If you find your marriage or partnership in serious trouble, you are advised to seek counseling or therapy to restore the foundation of your relationship.  It is never too late to make constructive changes in a partnership--as long as love, commitment, and the motivation to work things out are present. 

If you decide to see a professional counselor or marriage and family therapist, click here for some suggestions to consider.

If there is abuse in your relationship, click here.

Module Learner Outcomes:

Module 1:  How to Fight Right

  • Know the three major styles of fighting.
  • Understand the role of "fighting" in maintaining a satisfying relationship.
  • Know how your body responds to strong negative emotions.
  • Identify communication styles of yourself and your partner.
  • Discuss the importance of fighting in a good relationship.
  • Discuss the implications of trying to read your partner's mind.

Module 2:  Learning to Listen

  • Understand the process of active listening.
  • Practice and adopt active listening techniques, including using effective paraphrasing.
  • Identify ground rules for their relationship.
  • Discuss active listening and its effectiveness.

Module 3:  Expressing Yourself

  • Understand the importance of using "I" messages.
  • Know how to validate your partner.
  • Practice using "I" messages, including "feeling" words.
  • Review your "fighting" and be able to implement de-escalation techniques.
  • Discuss how "I" messages affect communication with your partner.
  • Discuss gender and cultural differences as they affect communication.

Module 4:  Managing Expectations

  • Know the three big issues that cause conflict in couples' relationships.
  • Know how to recognize the warning signs driven by differences in expectations.
  • List expectations of your relationship.
  • Review the rules of your relationship with your partner.
  • Communicate and clarify expectations to partner, using communication skills learned in Modules 2 and 3.
  • Discuss realistic/unrealistic expectations and how they affect relationships.
  • Discuss partner rules and how they help to manage expectations of a relationship.

Module 5:  The Balancing Act

  • Understand the importance of personal/couple time to enrich relationships.
  • Understand the importance of setting priorities to maintain a balance between your relationship and other responsibilities.
  • Recognize that all relationships go through cycles and what is necessary to keep your relationship strong throughout these cycles.
  • List the goals for your relationship and discuss them with your partner.
  • Prioritize goals by simplifying, delegating or eliminating, to help achieve balance.
  • Practice the steps in problem-solving discussions.
  • Discuss ways to increase "couple-time."
  • Discuss the four-step approach to problem solving and some of the deterrents to problem-solving.

Module 6:  Best Friends

  • Understand the "stumbling blocks" to becoming best friends.
  • Identify a regular time to spend together to protect you and your partner's friendship.
  • Understand the "five positives for every negative" guideline.
  • List positive qualities of  your partner and share this list with your partner and vice versa.
  • Practice giving and receiving compliments to/from your  partner to help achieve the five positives for every negative guideline.
  • Spend at least one 30-minute block of time alone with your partner during the week.
  • Discuss ways to add fun to a relationship.
  • Discuss stumbling blocks to commitment.

Text

The text for this course includes two K-State Research and Extension publications, CoupleTALK MF-2297 and CoupleTALK Activity Cards, MF-2295.  These may be obtained free of charge from most county/district Extension Offices in Kansas or down-loaded from the World Wide Web.  For more information, click on "Course Text" on the CoupleTALK home page ("CT Home" on the navigation bar below).  The booklet and activity cards are also recorded on audio tape.   Some persons may find that it is easier or more convenient to listen to the information rather than read it.   If so, please contact your Kansas County/District Extension Office for a copy of the taped version.

Assignments

The course will include reading assignments, activities for class members to complete (some with their partner), on-line discussions and review questionnaires.  For more details click on Module Contents and  Assignments and Class Participation on the CoupleTALK home page ("CT Home" on the navigation bar below).

Course Logistics

The course will be taught completely on-line.  The course takes approximately 3 weeks to complete, depending on how fast the class participants want to go. The course will be offered twice each year, once in the fall and once in the spring.  Enrollment will be taken through the Internet.  See "Enrollment/Sign-up" on the CoupleTALK home page ("CT Home" on the navigation bar below).  Instructors will include County Extension Agents, Family and Consumer Sciences.

References

Click here to view a complete listing of references used for the CoupleTALK Distance Education Program.

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